Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, had a personal philosophy that she taught her sales reps. She sent out three handwritten thank you notes every night before bed.

Not only did this allow her to express gratitude to the people she met and did business with, but it helped her to maintain a positive attitude all day long as she sought out people to say thank you to.

Oprah Winfrey talks about keeping a gratitude journal, where you write down five things you’re grateful for every day. What if, instead of writing them in a journal, you sent them in a card. That would improve not only your life, but also the lives of the people who receive them.

Too hard, you say? You don’t have enough time to write three handwritten cards a day? How about just two? Heck, how about just one? And what if there was a way you could send out one handwritten note in five minutes? Would you do it? What difference do you think it would make in your life?

Can you find one person a day to thank? How about the waitress who served you lunch? Or your neighbor for shoveling your walk? How about your spouse for taking out the trash or washing the dishes or cooking a fine meal or just for being your spouse? What about your child or your sister or your pastor or your teacher? What about thanking the person who made the biggest difference in your life?

Lately I’ve been having fun thanking people I don’t know personally. A pastor/writer whose resources I’m using right now. The hosts of a radio show. Someone whose website I benefited from. And some people I don’t know all that well, like the new activities director at my mom’s assisted living facility.

My next project is to thank people whom I don’t particularly like right now. It will do me good to think about something I can thank them for. And then I want to thank the people who have made a profound impact on my life.

Who would you like to thank?

It’s hard to be a pastor when you’re on the shy side. Being a pastor is about building relationships with people and often we have to meet lots of new people. I’ve felt drawn to be a new church development pastor, but I don’t think I have the skills to meet lots of new people. I’ve gotten better over the years. Early on I made it a practice to try to visit everyone at a potluck or church dinner.

Working at Starbucks helped, too. I took a break from ministry and worked at Starbucks for a couple of years. We were taught how important it is to engage people in conversation. I learned some helpful questions like, “Do you have any big plans for the weekend?”

Adam S. McHugh has written a wonderful book for us introverts called Introverts in the Church. Even though the church tends to value extroverts, introverts have a place. Our introversion gives us gifts that the church needs.

I found a way to reach out to people that is comfortable for introverts and those who are shy. Sending cards. I can let people know I’m thinking about them in a non-intrusive way. And it starts relationships.

I asked for the names of the people who are in the process of becoming pastors in our Presbytery. I got their email addresses, so I emailed them asking for their addresses and said I wanted to pray for them and send them a card every once in a while. I started a wonderful conversation with one of the women, and I’m looking forward to meeting her at the next Presbytery meeting or even getting together for coffee.

I sent a congratulations card to another pastor in our Presbytery who is getting married. He wrote back telling me about his fiance who is a mission co-worker in Africa. I wrote back to him and told him about my
short-term mission trips to Malawi, Africa. I am looking forward to connecting with him at the next Presbytery meeting, too.

Sending cards is a great way to reach out to people and develop relationships, especially if you’re shy.

I like to make people smile.

My mom hates green beans. I never had the pleasure of green bean casseroles for Thanksgiving growing up because my mom hates green beans. She likes cabbage and cauliflower and corn and peas and radishes (my personal least favorite vegetable, well, besides beets). But she hates green beans.

I was eating lunch with her the other day and I offered her $5 if she would eat the green beans on her plate. She refused.

So as we were laughing about it later, I decided to send her a postcard with a picture of some green beans on the front, and EAT YOUR GREEN BEANS!!! on the back.

I bet it will make her smile.

I know people in assisted living facilities enjoy receiving mail.

My mom lives at Mable Rose, an assisted living facility in Papillion, Nebraska. It’s a great place. The people are friendly, the food is good, and there are so many activities my mom is hardly ever in her apartment.

Last week I had lunch with her. We sat at a table with two other women, Betty and Ann. We had a delightful conversation. They shared with me about their lives. One of the topics of conversation was tatting, a type of hand-work.

I wanted to thank them for having lunch with me, and let them know I am thinking about them. So I found a picture of a woman tatting, put it on the front of a card, and sent it to them. I hope they like it. And I hope it reminds them of our wonderful lunch together.

Thank You Card for The Vicar of Dibley DVD

My husband Frank and I got a gift from the Motz family, a DVD of the first season of The Vicar of Dibley. Great gift since I’m a woman pastor and the series is quite funny.

I wanted to send a thank you card to them, so I decided to download a picture of the DVD to put on the front of the card. And I figured I would add a speech bubble with “Great gift” coming out of Geraldine’s mouth. Usually I don’t use speech or thought bubbles because I think they’re a little cheesy, but cheesy fits The Vicar of Dibley perfectly!

Do you have your thank you notes out yet?

Writing thank you notes can be fun!

Can writing thank you notes be fun for children?

Today is Christmas Eve. The pile of gifts is still under the tree. But several hours from now, or 24 hours if you open your gifts on Christmas day, it will be a pile of toys and clothes and video games, and a trash bag full of paper and bows out by the curb.

Do you ever send thank you notes for the Christmas gifts you receive? Or is that only for birthday or wedding gifts?

I’ve been thinking about “it’s more blessed to give than to receive” for my Christmas Eve meditation. We teach our children how to give. Do we also teach them how to receive?

Writing a thank you note to your Aunt Betty for the sweater she sent you for Christmas used to be part of the etiquette training we received when growing up. And for most kids, writing thank you notes is drudgery. (Perhaps for adults, too. Maybe that’s why it takes us so long to get to it.)

What if writing thank you notes could be fun, for both children and adults? With SendOutCards, thank you notes can be fun! (At least, I’m finding that they are. And a lot easier to do.)

Here are some suggestions for helping your children write thank you cards.

1. Talk with your children about how thank you notes make people feel. Let them know that receiving thank you notes makes people feel appreciated. And it lets them know that the gift arrived safely.
2. Work on your thank you notes together. It’s always more fun to do things together than alone. And when you work on thank you notes together, you are a model for your children.
3. Talk about what the gift means to them. Talk about how fun it was to watch the DVD or play the video game. Talk about the shopping trip the went on to use the gift card.
4. Choose a picture for the front of the card, or take a picture of the child with the gift to put on the card. Most children love to take pictures or have pictures taken of them. Searching the computer for a pretty picture can also be fun.
5. Choose a unique font and different color.
6. Help the child write the thank you. For younger children, you can type what they dictate. For older children, give them an outline and help them think through what they would like to say.
7. Fill out the address, and click “send.” The address will be stored in the contact manager, so sending the next card to this person will be even easier.

Here’s an outline for a thank you card:

• Greet the giver
• Express your gratitude
• How will you use the gift?
• A sentence about the giver
• Thanks again
• Regards

Dear Aunt Betty:

Thank you so much for the Christmas sweater. I can’t wait to wear it to school. I hope you had a good Christmas. I can’t wait to see you this summer. Thanks again for the gift.

Love,

Suzanne

I have a little time before our Christmas Eve service. Perhaps I’ll sent my Christmas thank yous today.

Trinity Church, an Episcopal church in Boston, prays for each members of their congregation once a year by name. And then they send a postcard to that person letting them know that they have been prayed for.

The postcard has a picture of the St. Francis statue from their garden, and Trinity parishioners write a short note on each card.

I stayed at the Sheraton. What a wonderful hotel. I especially appreciated the extra fluffy pillows, the elegant bathroom vanity, and the artwork on the walls. The artwork was just my style — a close up photograph of several stalks of wheat framed in silver, an old barn in the middle of a field, and a close-up of another type of plant.

But all was not peaches and cream with my stay in Iowa City.

I had forgotten to bring my cell phone charger. I tried to stop by the US Cellular store to exchange my battery and buy a car charger, but both stores that I drive to through the snow were closed because of the weather!

So then, with a dead cell phone, I went to the Sheraton.  As I checked in, I asked if they happened to have any cell phone chargers. They had two boxes full! After looking through about 30 chargers, I found one that matched my cell phone. The woman at the desk was so helpful!

After parking my car in the parking garage and relaxing in my room for a bit, I went out to get something to eat. When I went to pay at the Chinese restaurant, I discovered my wallet was missing.

I went back to the hotel and asked at the front desk if anyone had turned in a wallet. The woman at the desk, a different one this time, said no. She told me to come back if I wanted to leave my information in case someone did turn it in.

After a frantic hour of searching my car, my hotel room, and retracing all my steps (including out into the cold to the Chinese restaurant), it suddenly crossed my mind that the last place I know I had it was at the front desk when I was checking in. So I went back and asked if it was in the box with the cell phone chargers. It was, buried beneath the pile.

Both of the women at the Sheraton were very helpful. I wanted to send a thank you note specifically mentioning their names, but when I asked the next morning, the woman on duty didn’t know who had worked the night before.

I wish I would have gotten their names immediately when they were helping me. Granted, I was a bit frazzled at the time. But from now on I want to get into the habit of getting names right away. Companies often get complaints. I want to make sure they start getting compliments, too, especially when the employees have been so helpful.

I keep hearing how much fun it is to surprise people with a gift of brownies, or cookies, or a gift card. But I haven’t done it myself until today.

It’s snowing. My next-door neighbor came and cleared off the sidewalks in front of my house. I never get around to doing it until late in the day, if then. So I really appreciate the kindness he shows me.

Can’t wait until he receives the thank you card and brownies in the mail.