All my life, I’ve been on the introverted/shy side. I hate going into a roomful of people I don’t know. I avoid parties. It’s difficult for me to meet new people. And because I’m highly introverted and get my energy from being alone, I could spend days at home by myself.
It’s hard to be a pastor when you’re on the shy side. Being a pastor is about building relationships with people and often we have to meet lots of new people. I’ve felt drawn to be a new church development pastor, but I don’t think I have the skills to meet lots of new people. I’ve gotten better over the years. Early on I made it a practice to try to visit everyone at a potluck or church dinner.
Working at Starbucks helped, too. I took a break from ministry and worked at Starbucks for a couple of years. We were taught how important it is to engage people in conversation. I learned some helpful questions like, “Do you have any big plans for the weekend?”
Adam S. McHugh has written a wonderful book for us introverts called Introverts in the Church. Even though the church tends to value extroverts, introverts have a place. Our introversion gives us gifts that the church needs.
I found a way to reach out to people that is comfortable for introverts and those who are shy. Sending cards. I can let people know I’m thinking about them in a non-intrusive way. And it starts relationships.
I asked for the names of the people who are in the process of becoming pastors in our Presbytery. I got their email addresses, so I emailed them asking for their addresses and said I wanted to pray for them and send them a card every once in a while. I started a wonderful conversation with one of the women, and I’m looking forward to meeting her at the next Presbytery meeting or even getting together for coffee.
I sent a congratulations card to another pastor in our Presbytery who is getting married. He wrote back telling me about his fiance who is a mission co-worker in Africa. I wrote back to him and told him about my
short-term mission trips to Malawi, Africa. I am looking forward to connecting with him at the next Presbytery meeting, too.
Sending cards is a great way to reach out to people and develop relationships, especially if you’re shy.
